Awareness

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The last few days have been very serial and peaceful, exception of the life, which is eternal, has settled into my very soul. The connection of my creator has come like a cool breeze in the afternoon sun. I walk with him as he talks to me and tells me, I am his own. The level of intimacy has unraveled me to great propensity. Like a dear breathes with short, quick breaths, from excitement over water, so does my inner being gravitate to the sound of his call.

I can’t get enough of the words he speaks gently over me that cancel every lie of the one who is opposed to my identity.  It’s his grace that has found me in the depth of uncertainty, lifting me up to fly in a realm of limitlessness.

I am in love; I am with great peace, as I draw close to his heartbeat. The sound of his rhythm, makes my heart sing of his great joy and life it brings.  I make melodies that drives away madness and brings enlightenment! The same God who created each molecule and atom, is the same God who loves me! Though I know he has many children, it feels like he only sees me. I am in awe of who he is, struck by a newness of feelings, that create an inventiveness. I am aware that I am his DNA.

Discovering the inside of me.

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Do you ever wish you could take a long vacation, just leave everything and everyone, for a least a week or two? Well that’s were I am. I find myself being in a routine. Getting up in the morning, going to work out, picking up my brother, going to work, getting home not wanting to do anything but sleep.  And I’m part time SMH.   Don’t forget the weekends; I’m either out of town singing or preparing for the next event. I don’t know if I like it; this habitual performance of the past few weeks, have caused me to be Miss Routine Jean. Lol.

Don’t get me wrong; I am appreciative of waking up, able to work out, having a brother and a Job. But, I’m single and there’s a sense of freedom that I get to experience and I don’t think I’m taking advantage of it. There is a thing of being intentional and discovering the inside of oneself.

There is a method to all this madness, a reason why I’m feeling a scene of discomfort.  Perhaps my dreams are stirring inside of me. Have I been so goal oriented that I forgot about the exciting party in all of this? ME! Wow, I can’t lose the peace, joy, and strength of discovering. See if I can do this now, when I experience life in other ways, i.e. being a wife, mother, world traveler, and business owner; I'll be able to retreat back to my true values of the things that makes me. I can’t lose myself in the mundane of life, being of this earthly world rather then the heavenly or spiritual one.

So my spirit arises from my days of routine of the past few weeks as I ask the Spirit of all truth; to lead and guide me as I devote my time to intentionality.

Will you join me? Let’s not be complacent, there is so much more then what we see, be willing to discover the inside of you and see true destiny.

Food for thought:

Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. Rom 12:2 (NLT)

My Space

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It’s a place of surrendering a place of never letting go, a place where I feel like I will grow old.. Where the amity of my sound, the message in which I speak; where my words won’t fall to the ground.

Passions not an issue, love will always be apart of me, but how can I express with out fear of others allowing me to be me. I was born to love, I was born to care, I was born to have compassion with open arms and fresh air.  Yet what stops me? I only go so far then I feel myself retreating from the full expression of life. Why?

It was God who said be fruitful and multiply,  But how do I produce much and increase the amount of my  love for others  with out feeling  the effects of exertion  to protect myself from hurt or enmity.

It is not my responsibility to protect everything inside of me, I am yet a child who is free around her daddy, playing in the play ground knowing that his eyes are forever watching me. So the truth is; it is ok to love freely and intentionally, because this love that I have for others is truly not from me.

It’s God’s love that shines through me, how dare I hold back such a precious gift in which God created me for.  Fear and love don’t mix; God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of love, power, and a sound mind.  So in my place of harmony I will not fear for God is with me; his rod and staff they comfort me. 

Apostle John conveyed it best; Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. (1 John 4:18 )

I’ll remain in my space; and that space is love…

A New Breath: coming into ones own, becoming a living soul

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I had a conversation with several friends expressing my new revelation from within.    I am beginning to ease and relax in this thin layer of tissue forming my natural outer covering, you know, the thing we call skin.  I have entered a new season of breathing once again.  Deep right? Well, when I communicated this information with excitement and great expression, I was poised with a question, “Demetria what does that mean; you are able to breath again?”

Clearly what I thought was an epiphany was only the surface of my journey. I realized that I was going to have to dig deeper to convince myself that I wasn’t just speaking to give information on a feeling or idea. Not at all! I needed to have understanding that what was being revealed to me about me, was more then just a word or thought but it was my ultimate reality.

I paused, took a breath, dug deep and replied with a certainty… “I am no longer on a respirator, relaying on human opinions, thoughts, or circumstances to help my air to circulate.  I live by the process of taking air into and expelling it from the lungs which God has given me; in turn, I perceive the intended meaning of my truth and identity.”  

The fact of being who I am didn’t actually have an objective existence until my land of hurt was water by the ultimate comforter causing me to become a living soul.

Gen 2:5-7 explains it best,

Now no shrub had yet appeared on the earth^[a] and no plant had yet sprung up, for the LORD God had not sent rain on the earth and there was no one to work the ground, ⁶ but streams^[b] came up from the earth and watered the whole surface of the ground. ⁷ Then the LORD God formed a man^[c] from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.

What is your process of formation?  What needs to be watered, so that you can breath again and become a living soul?  

TIME, SPACE, PLACE

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As I look at my “time “ I wonder if I wasted it in any way, but who am I to question when there is a God most infinite in all his ways.  See time is perspective, and I tend to follow my own periodically without considering the perspective of the one who created the concept itself. Time is The indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present, and future regarded as a whole. It continuously exists.  It makes me ponder through my transition; have I taken my past, replayed it in my present, and affected my future? Perhaps, but the real question is;  have I given the true one space so I will only see time and positively embrace?  See, this period of changing to one state to another is not always comfortable. No, this transition is quite challenging but it forces me to allow my space; my expanse that is available,  to now be continually occupied with the third person in the trinity.

I am not the creator of time; why would I think that it’s ok to create space for Christ because I want to demand a particular position, based on what others say is my place. That’s insecurity.  Why bully the process?  I have to walk through this series of steps in order for a particular end to be accomplished.   Then and only then will I allow this transition to become my friend and I can walk with a different goal in mind, without focusing on “Me, Mine, and no more”. 

I have come to a conclusion   the only way for me to make it through this Time and space so I continue to remain in my rightful place , it is to  be like Paul  and press on toward the goal unto the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

Maya Angelou says it well,  “Whether you are happy or whether you are sad, it is wise to remember you are really in process”.  We will always be in a series of actions in our continued progress of existing; however, will we allow our interval of time to be occupied with the things of Christ so that we understand our Identity; in turn,  we step in a place without animosity or hate, allowing others to have their own time, space, and place.